Sunday Morning Series: Building a New Awareness

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I’ve been sharing with my congregation at Unity Center of Peace the concepts found in David Owen Ritz’ Keys to the Kingdom course which we are offering as a class on Thursday evenings. (This is a powerfully transformational course.  If you belong to a New Thought community, ask your minister to find out how he or she can bring it to your center.)  Last week, I shared about how to create a new vision for your life – an expansive vision that includes living your highest potential in all areas:  Finances, Relationships, Health, Career or creative self-expression, and personal or spiritual growth.

This week we will explore how powerful our vision can be in creating our experience of life – and what might be standing in the way of realizing that vision of our highest potential – namely, our deeply held core beliefs.  Here is Part 1 of the summary of that talk…

We all have deep core beliefs that color our perception of life – and not only our perception of life, but that actually create our experience of life.  For most people these beliefs are unconscious – they don’t even seem like beliefs – it just seems like our reality – what’s true for us.   But let’s explore the anatomy of a belief and see if we can see how our beliefs just may be limiting our good and getting in the way of our vision manifesting.

Our beliefs are like colored glasses with which we look at the world. To us, it’s not a belief – it’s just a fact of life – it’s your everyday experience.  And it keeps repeating, so it must be true.  (I put on yellow-tinted glasses.) If I didn’t know I was wearing yellow glasses, I would think that the sky really is yellow.  That would be my “fact.”  If other people say, no the sky is really blue.  I would think…we’ll maybe that’s your experience, but it’s not my life.  In my life the sky is yellow.”  So, for instance a correlating possible false belief might be: “The good things in life are not available to me.  Lucky people, famous people, people born in privilege – they have all the good. But that doesn’t happen to me.”

Owen Ritz says,“With your unconscious acceptance of this belief as a truth, your thoughts constantly reinforce and confirm your limiting belief as you observe and reflect upon the limited experience your belief has created.  These thoughts are like variations on a theme.  Each is a slightly different way you tell yourself that your limiting belief is really true.”  Thoughts such as…

“Nothing ever seems to work out for me.”

“Spiritual people shouldn’t want material things.”

“There’s never enough to go around”

“I must not deserve the good things others have.”

Ritz says “Your feelings and emotions often follow your thoughts, giving them power and further reinforcing them.  With these feelings, your false belief becomes fully energized.  You don’t just see your limitations; you feel their reality.  The intensity of your feelings may make it even more difficult to recognize the thoughts and beliefs behind them.   You might experience these feeling as:

Fear & worry
Frustration & Anger
Feelings of Unworthiness
Jealousy and Envy
Hopelessness or Helplessness”

We don’t always realize that our feeling and emotions come from our thoughts – often we think it’s the other way around. Actually our thoughts and feelings are a wonderful clue to finding deeply held false beliefs.  When you notice you are feeling some strong emotion,  stop a moment and see if you can trace it back to a thought – to a belief.  Also, you can listen to what you’re saying. For instance…

If you find yourself saying things like. “I knew this would happen.” Or “Some people have all the luck.” Or “I won’t even consider that because I can’t afford it.” Or, “It’s all who you know.” Or, “I can’t seem to catch a break.” Listen to what you’re saying.  You are affirming aloud your limiting beliefs.  AND you’re reinforcing them.

 

Finally your behavior naturally follows all the above and ensures that you continue to unconsciously create these limitations.  Some examples might be:
Performing below your true work ability.
Withholding your love or your abundance.
Poor financial planning
Not bothering to show up for something where an wonderful opportunity might be waiting for you.

When we look at the anatomy of a belief – we can see that beliefs are powerful indeed.   So, how do we uproot these limiting beliefs which are choking off our good, so that our vision can be realized?   We’ll explore that tomorrow in Part 2 of Building a New Awareness.

 

Living an Expansive Life, Pt. 2

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Last time we talked about how having a vision of living a more expansive life is key to actually moving into that life.  And, when we do old beliefs, fears and self-doubt will pop up and try to hold us back and keep us in the little safe box it has us stuck in.

David Owen Ritz talks about this in his Keys to the Kingdom program (which I will be facilitating at Unity Center of Peace in Chapel Hill if you happend to be near, beginning Aug 23rd.) “As you reach for a greater vision for your life, don’t be surprised if your fears and old beliefs reassert themselves and argue for your limitation along the way.  That is a natural part of the process.  An idea as powerful as unlimited abundance will naturally flush to the surface all other beliefs and ideas unlike itself.  You may find yourself feeling doubtful, fearful, frustrated, or even unworthy.  The thing to know is that your greater possibility lies on the other side of these feelings.  You must face them and heal them if you are to claim your highest possibility.”

And that’s how we break out of our comfort zone.  First we want to start seeing the larger picture through visioning…start expanding our thinking and opening up to what’s possible – the life that lies beyond the box.  And then when those self-doubts and fears come along we want to be a witness to them.   Don’t judge them or judge ourselves for having self-doubt.  Just stand outside of our thinking process for a moment and witness it.

So say you’ve been working at a job that has become a rut for you.  You’re not really enjoying it anymore and they’re not really paying you all that well either.  You’ve been wanting to make a change and go for something that speaks to your heart more…and perhaps pays better.  But you’re stuck.  You don’t want to risk leaving a steady-paying job for an uncertain future.  But you’re beginning to catch a vision of a more expansive life – that’s the most important piece right there…the vision – and cultivating that vision.  And now, you decide it’s time to move forward in alignment with your Inner Guidance.  That’s when the voice of your fear pops up and says, “Oh really…what the heck do you think you’re doing, are you crazy?” Ever heard that voice?

So exercising the witness consciousness, you could say something like…”I’m so glad you brought that up!  Let’s take a good look at that.  In fact, I think I’ve been crazy to live in this rut for so long. I, as a beloved child of God, deserve to live a fulfilling, expansive life.  It’s coded in my DNA!  Other people have made positive changes like this…why can’t I?”  And so on.  Have a dialogue with the doubts until they begin to go quiet.  And they will.

Sometimes, though, it‘s not such a clear voice.  It’s more a feeling of discomfort, a non-specific fear, exhaustion, or just being too darn busy to spend any time pursuing your dream.  That’s the voice of fear trying to keep you stuck too!  And so we want to encourage that discomfort to speak up, so we can see it for what it is.

It’s like weeding your mental garden, pruning the stuff that chokes off the growth of the flowers..and watering and feeding your dream. And when you do…like the chick who has broken out of her egg and is suddenly in this big, beautiful world she never knew existed before, you’ll be living in a big, beautiful, magnificent world you thought only existed in dreams. And if your vision is big enough, you may even transform the lives of those around you.

Living an Expansive Life

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Growth is an essential and integral part of life. We live in a universe that is continually expanding.  Everything in the Universe and on the planet is continually growing.  Seeds become plants.  Plants grow, flower, come to fruition and before their life cycle is over, produce seed for the next generation of plants.

And because we are created out of this same life force, we are continually growing and expanding – at least that is our nature, it’s what we’re coded for – to continually grow and expand.

Of course, we are unique from the rest of creation…as the “Divine-beings-in-a-human-incarnation” that we are…we have this beautiful thing called free will, and, even though it is our nature to grow and expand, we sometimes we get stuck and choose, consciously, or unconsciously not to grow.

And here’s how we get stuck:  growing and expanding requires that we break out of the box we’re in – and that requires breaking out of our comfort zone.  We, as members of the human race, like predictability and…we like comfort.

We all have our little boxes that we get stuck in.  Sometimes it about physical comfort, but mostly it’s mental and emotional comfort — what we’ve become accustomed to…ingrained beliefs…what we believe our “place in live” is.  For example, some are stuck in the box that says “I’m middle class.  My parents were middle class. I don’t even know what it would be like to have a limitless amount of money or phenomenal success.” Or the box that says, “My business always stays at a certain level, I just can’t get beyond that level.” Or the box that says, “This is just how my marriage is.  My spouse and I don’t communicate anymore.  Nothing changes.”

We get stuck in these patterns and our lives become defined by them.  The good news is that the Universe has a way of challenging our stuckness.   The writer and artist, Anais Nin one wrote: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Seeds must break out of their shells to live as nature intended them.  Baby chicks must break out of their comfortable little shells if they would live.

Breaking out of our box is a lot like the baby chick’s journey as it breaks out of its shell.  Like the chick, protected yet cramped, inside its shell, we don’t know the magnificent world that is waiting for us on the other side….but we can begin catching a glimpse of it through the process of visioning.  And once we do, like the chick who hears the peeps of her little brothers and sisters, it will give us the strength we need to pull away the fears, doubts, and unbelief that will try and get in our way when we begin to break out of our self-imposed confinement.

Tomorrow I will write about how we can successful silence the voice of our fears and self-doubts and finally break out of the box we may be stuck in.

A Grateful Graduation

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Graduation time is here!  I know a few parents who are so very grateful their child made it all the way through high school, or college, and for some, graduate school. I have a dear friend that went back to school to get her degree later in life and she’s graduating in June too.  Congratulations all!  Truly something to be proud of and grateful for!

Yes, grateful for. Education is not a given….particularly for women.  In some countries woman are refused the right to an education.  I guess an educated woman must be such a terrible threat to men and the rules they’ve created to dominate them.  But I digress.  The opportunity to attend college and graduate school is indeed a privilege to be grateful for.  And I’ll just give thanks in advance that all that school debt you may have accrued will be paid off easily and quickly!

And, I know it’s been way too long since I’ve written a blog here.  But I do have a bit of an excuse…because you see, I’m graduating too.  I’ve been in seminary for the past two years.  It’s been very intense, but I’ve just handed in my final assignments!  Yea!   I am just about to graduate and become an ordained Interfaith Minister.  What’s an “Interfaith Minister” you might be asking?

An Interfaith Minister is one who honors the beauty found in every spiritual tradition.  We look for the core essence of Truth running through all religions. We strive to promote the commonality, rather than the differences, among all faith traditions. We support that basic human desire to experience the divine…to have connection to something larger than ourselves and to connect with the love within one another.

The training I received was through One Spirit Interfaith Seminary in NYC (here’s the link) .  It was life-transforming, and I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to attend.

I am also grateful to tell you that I have been asked to co-minister my spiritual community, Unity Center of Peace in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.  And I’ve accepted.  I will be co-ministering with another One Spirit graduate, Rosemary Hyde.  We look forward to the opportunity of bringing the wisdom of our recent training into our community and helping it to grow and thrive.  More on that in future blogs.

So happy Graduation day to all of us and a big bunch of gratitude to all the people who supported us in achieving our goals!

 

 

Counting Our Gratitudes for the Year

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Do you want to end the year on an energetic high and begin the momentum for creating a magnificent New Year?   Then join me in my annual end-of-the-year activity: making a list of 100 things to be grateful for this year.  

Don’t have 100 things to be grateful for you say?  Ah, I’ll bet you do. We all do. You just have to exercise the gratitude part of your brain a bit.  So much happens in a year that we tend to forget…in particular the good stuff.  It’s interesting that we usually have no trouble remembering the challenges!

So get out your journal or yellow legal tablet and just start it.  It may seem overwhelming at first, but just start with one…then another one will come…then another.  It doesn’t have to be huge, monumental things.  The small blessings are just as important.  Once you get started you will be amazed at how many things come to you that you hadn’t really considered before. And that’s the great thing about this exercise.  It trains your brain to notice what most people overlook.  And once you do notice it, it’s yours…you own it. It becomes a part of your life.  That energy then carries you into the New Year on a vibration that will attract even more good into your life.

So go on. Get out your paper and just begin. You can take a couple of days if you want. There’s no rush. Take your time with it and enjoy.  Then, let me know how it goes for you.

Many blessings for a magnificent New Year!

Gratitude and the Box

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The reason a consistent practice of gratitude is such a powerful tool to transform our lives is because it connects us to our Source.  It connects us directly to the Infinite Organizing Power of the Universe (whether you call it God, Infinite Intelligence, Universal Love or whatever.)  Gratitude helps us emerge from the little box we’ve been squeezing ourselves into and opens our eyes to an amazing world where we are loved, where there is harmony and order, wholeness, and limitless good.   

These boxes come in all shapes and sizes.  Some are labeled “I’m a victim” others, “nothing works out for me” or “I’m not good enough” and still others “I’ve got to push real hard to make things go the way I want them to.”  What is your box labeled? We all have them.  It’s simply a part of the consciousness of humanity. Some of us have made our boxes really elaborate!

 But when we begin a practice of gratitude, we begin to peek out of our box and see that, in fact, there may be beauty all around us. We begin to notice that there may be an underlying order and harmony in our lives. We begin to understand that we may, in fact, be Sourced by the Infinite and that Source is limitless.  It’s not always completely obvious…we may have to look real hard to find it. Sometimes we can see only the possibility of limitless good.  Or we see it working in other’s lives and we open to the idea that it may actually be possible in ours as well.

And then sometimes we discount it, rationalize it, disown it and go back into our little box.  After all, it’s comfortable in there.  We’ve grown accustomed to it.  We’ve spend our whole lives there.  So it takes effort to open the box again, and then still more effort to keep it open.  That effort is a daily practice of proactive gratitude (click here for a reminder of what those steps are).  When we practice daily proactive gratitude we are keeping the box open.  We are “owning” the good all around us.  As we do this, we are actually activating the possibility in our lives of that which we had only caught a glimpse of while we were peeking out of our box.  We are activating the possibility, so that that possibility becomes a manifest reality.  The possibility of opportunity becomes opportunity. The possibility of harmony becomes the reality of order and purpose in our lives. The possibility of limitless good becomes the reality of increased prosperity.

Once that possibility has become an actuality in our lives…once we see and live in “Divine grace”…we can no longer go back into that little box.  We’ve outgrown it for good. We are now living in gratitude every day.  And that’s when magic happens.

It all start though by just peeking out of the box…noticing the blessings, noticing the good in our lives…celebrating the good, and documenting the good by writing it down daily.  That’s our practice. That’s the practice that liberates us from the box and allows us to experience an amazing life.

Gratitude and Possibilities

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One of the most tangible ways in which the practice of gratitude can transform our lives is by opening our eyes to the possibilities and opportunities that are all around us…opportunities and possibilities that we did not see before because we were focused on what wasn’t working, on what wrong with everyone and everything.   It’s as if we’ve had blinders on, and the practice of gratitude gently pulls them off. We begin to see a beautiful world full of possibilities.  We begin to see the potential within us.  We begin in see the connectedness of everything, and how everything is working together for our good…if we will but recognize it!

Let’s take a few obvious examples, just to illustrate the point.  Say I was unemployed and couldn’t find a job to save my life.  Now, rather than constantly bemoan my circumstance and blame the government for my predicament I’m practicing gratitude.  I’m thinking about all the things I have to be grateful for as I’m driving down the road.  Suddenly I realize I’m lost.  I find myself on a new street and again, rather than falling prey to anger and blame, I notice what beautiful trees are lining this street. I’m suddenly grateful that I took a wrong turn.  Then I notice that behind the beautiful trees, which I’m grateful for, is a building I never noticed before.  “Oh look, it Burt’s Bees.  Hmmmm, I didn’t know they were headquartered here.  Gee, I wonder if they’re hiring.”  I go in, submit my resume, and in a few days I have a job at the company I’ve always admired.

Or, say I find myself in a coffee house. It’s very busy and I have to wait in a long line.  Rather than bemoan the inconvenience and stress about how late I am, I silently express my gratitude for the opportunity to have coffee, for soy milk so that lactose intolerant folks like me can still enjoy lattes, for the creative way the place is decorated, for the people around me.  Then, the cute guy in front of me remarks about the weather, or the song they’re playing, and we start up a conversation…which either leads to romance and a relationship or a business opportunity.

Or, I’ve taken my kids to the library to pick out some fun books to read at bedtime. I’m grateful for my children and for this time I get to spend with them. I’m grateful for this library and the people who work here.  As we’re walking through the isles on the way to check out, a self-help book catches my eye.  I pick it up and check it out.  It turns out to be a book that has a significant impact on my life.   

I can think of many for examples, and so can you. In fact, if you’d like to share an example from your own life in the comment section below, we’d love to hear it.

We are all deeply connected to possibilities that can turn our lives around in ways we can’t even imagine.  But we’ll miss them all if we’re focused on what’s not working, and who’s to blame.  Gratitude opens our eyes to the connectedness of all things and the abundance of opportunities all around us.

Gratitude and Luck

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Have you ever had periods in your life where everything just seemed to be going right?  I’ve had that recently.  One day I had so many blessings all in one day that I caught myself thinking, “Wow, I’m really on a lucky streak.” I felt very grateful…and then I started to feel nervous. “What’s wrong with feeling lucky?” You may ask. The problem is that when we feel lucky, we’re unconsciously disempowering ourselves.  There’s always the other side of luck…which is that the “lucky streak” can end. 

There is a subtle, but important distinction between feeling lucky and feeling blessed. If we believe in luck, we’re really believing a God who, on a whim, decides to throw a few bones our way, and then the next day doesn’t really care for us.  Either that or, we believe we’re mearly victims of a fickle fate. Either way, we’re powerless. When we realize we’re blessed, we know that we’re beloved…we’re subconsciously accepting our true worth.

Our gratitude work needs to be based in a firm understanding that we are truly worthy of a joyous, harmonious and successful life. There must be an acceptance that we are worthy of all the good we are experiencing…and more. This isn’t always easy, but it’s essential if we want to claim our rightful place as co-creators with the Divine, and keep the floodgates open for more and more good to manifest in our lives. Gratitude then helps solidify our acceptance. 

So, the next time you’re tempted to feel lucky when your life is going great, take a deep breath and say to yourself, “I am worthy of this good because of who I am…a beloved expression of the Universe.  We are all blessed, and I am accepting my blessed life now!”

Gratitude Breeds Environmental Responsibility

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A happy side benefit to developing a gratitude practice is that you naturally become deeply respectful of our planet.  It’s a benefit that’s good for you and good for the world as a whole.

As we focus on the things we are grateful for it’s natural that we begin to turn our attention to the beauty of Mother Earth.  How gorgeous trees are in the Spring when tiny bright green leaves begin to appear.  How peaceful we feel when we witness a sunset or the stillness of a lake on a windless day.  How magical a mountain ridge appears when covered with newly fallen snow.  How fabulous a ripe strawberry tastes just picked off the vine.  

As we continue to notice daily the beauty and majesty of the world around us we naturally want to preserve and protect it.  We naturally want to care for it, and we will go out of our way to recycle a plastic bottle, avoid pesticides and chemicals, or bring our cloth shopping bags to the grocery store.  Love and gratitude lead to respect…which leads to our taking action to care for that thing or experience.  We may also find ourselves supporting companies and organizations who are more environmentally responsible.

And, it hurts when we see the planet damaged by those who have not yet developed the same respect.   Unfortunatley, it happens everyday on the corporate and on the individual level.  For some people there is a disconnect between enjoying a scenic vista and the effort it take to change corporate policy or personal habits to protect that vista for future generation. 

So, if you know someone who seems to be showing little respect for our environment, rather than beat them over the head with a message of “environmental responsibility,” encourage them to develop a gratitude practice.   A daily practice of gratitude is indeed healing for ourselves and our environment.   It won’t be long before one’s love and gratitude for this amazing planet translates into a change in relationship with the environment.  And that’s good news for our planet.

Gratitude and Forgiveness

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When I ask people to think about the qualities in friends and family members they are grateful for, most folks can come up with an extensive list such as:  “I’m grateful for their support, their love, their listening skills, their compassion; or, they make me laugh, I feel good around them, they taught me something valuable, or introduced me to someone or something that has made a positive impact on my life.”  However, most of us have one person (sometimes several) where we have trouble seeing anything positive.  Sometimes it’s somebody from the past who has hurt us deeply.  Frequently, it’s a parent who was far from perfect, whom we feel may be the cause of our current limitations.

Even though this hurt or betrayal happened long ago…and we may not even think about this person much…it still effects our peace of mind and so much more.  The inability to forgive someone is a toxic brew that affects our physical, emotional and spiritual health.  It can also block the benefits we might receive from practicing proactive gratitude. And…it can kill our dreams.

It might be helpful to take a little internal inventory to see if indeed there is anyone from your past…or present for that matter…with whom you may be holding a grudge.  Even if you think you’ve forgiven everyone, there can sometimes be layers of forgiveness work.  I recently attended a workshop where we were taken through a forgiveness exercise. I thought I’d forgiven everyone. I didn’t think I had any reason to forgive my parents.  I knew they did the best they could with the consciousness they had at the time.  But wouldn’t you know, as I was led into the exercise I uncovered a deeper layer of painful experience that needed to be forgiven.  Once I did, I felt so free, so unencumbered…completely released from the burden. What a gift.

How do you forgive someone who has done the “unforgivable?”  It’s not easy, but it is possible.  Fortunately there are many books and workshops available that can inspire you and guide you through the forgiveness process.  A few of my favorites are… Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All by Gerald Jampolsky & Neal Donald Walsch:  http://amzn.to/ix5uiS , Forgiveness is a Choice by Robert D. Enright: http://amzn.to/jzmMzn and, How to Forgive When You Can’t by Jim Dincalci:  http://amzn.to/jKmwe0.
In addition, I devote an entire chapter on how to forgive in my book, Manifesting Your Desires, which has a companion audiobook where I guide you through the process. (Click here for more info on that: www.manifestyourgood.com )

Once unforgiveness has been cleared from your “channels” you will be amazed at how effective your gratitude practice will be.  You will be, in effect, open and available to receive the good that has been blocked…the good that is waiting for you.