When I ask people to think about the qualities in friends and family members they are grateful for, most folks can come up with an extensive list such as: “I’m grateful for their support, their love, their listening skills, their compassion; or, they make me laugh, I feel good around them, they taught me something valuable, or introduced me to someone or something that has made a positive impact on my life.” However, most of us have one person (sometimes several) where we have trouble seeing anything positive. Sometimes it’s somebody from the past who has hurt us deeply. Frequently, it’s a parent who was far from perfect, whom we feel may be the cause of our current limitations.
Even though this hurt or betrayal happened long ago…and we may not even think about this person much…it still effects our peace of mind and so much more. The inability to forgive someone is a toxic brew that affects our physical, emotional and spiritual health. It can also block the benefits we might receive from practicing proactive gratitude. And…it can kill our dreams.
It might be helpful to take a little internal inventory to see if indeed there is anyone from your past…or present for that matter…with whom you may be holding a grudge. Even if you think you’ve forgiven everyone, there can sometimes be layers of forgiveness work. I recently attended a workshop where we were taken through a forgiveness exercise. I thought I’d forgiven everyone. I didn’t think I had any reason to forgive my parents. I knew they did the best they could with the consciousness they had at the time. But wouldn’t you know, as I was led into the exercise I uncovered a deeper layer of painful experience that needed to be forgiven. Once I did, I felt so free, so unencumbered…completely released from the burden. What a gift.
How do you forgive someone who has done the “unforgivable?” It’s not easy, but it is possible. Fortunately there are many books and workshops available that can inspire you and guide you through the forgiveness process. A few of my favorites are… Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All by Gerald Jampolsky & Neal Donald Walsch: http://amzn.to/ix5uiS , Forgiveness is a Choice by Robert D. Enright: http://amzn.to/jzmMzn and, How to Forgive When You Can’t by Jim Dincalci: http://amzn.to/jKmwe0.
In addition, I devote an entire chapter on how to forgive in my book, Manifesting Your Desires, which has a companion audiobook where I guide you through the process. (Click here for more info on that: www.manifestyourgood.com )
Once unforgiveness has been cleared from your “channels” you will be amazed at how effective your gratitude practice will be. You will be, in effect, open and available to receive the good that has been blocked…the good that is waiting for you.