Continuing on the theme from the last post on practicing proactive gratitude with respect to relationships and “difficult” people…
Often when we have an encounter with a “difficult” person, it brings up our anger, fear, resentment, sense of righteous indignation, and other strong emotions. Strong “negative” emotions are always a signal to us…a signal that there’s something within us that’s unhealed. And, the encounter helps to bring it to the surface…and right in our face.
For example, I find myself getting upset with people who behave like uncaring bureaucrats. Like some customer service personnel or government employees who apparently hate their jobs, and don’t really care about the customer’s needs. They’re simply answering the phones and following a script of responses to questions. This just gets my blood boiling. I think to myself, “why on earth would this person take a job where they have to deal with the public on any level?”
Okay, now I can (and have) felt very justified in my anger and end up slamming down the phone and screaming into it after I’ve hung up. A lot of good this does, eh? How about instead, I look at one of two things in myself…
A.) Where am I uncaring and unloving to others? Where do I brush people off and wish they’d just go away? If I can see this in myself, I can bring it to the light for healing. In this case the customer service person serves as a mirror to me. He or she has held up a mirror so I can see how I do this and heal it. Then perhaps I won’t need to attract that kind of person into my life anymore (and in fact, I have been encountering some amazingly friendly and helpful customer service people lately!) So…I can be grateful for this person. They have, unknowingly, helped me heal!
or, B) This customer service person is showing me something in myself that feels not worthy of being treated well. I can then ask myself, “What is it in me that feels unworthy of being treated with respect? Where in my childhood have I been ignored, dismissed and made to feel small and unimportant?” Ahhh, there it is. Then I can ask my higher self for guidance into that experience, or root of feeling unworthy. Now that I am aware of this, I can heal it. Once it’s healed I no longer need to attract this kind of person into my life anymore. And, a lot of other stuff will clear up as well! So, can I be grateful for this customer service representative? You betcha! What a gift he or she has been to me.
Try this little experiement the next time you encounter someone who tries your patience and brings up your anger, fear, etc. Let me know how it goes for you!
_____________________________________________________________
My gratitudes for yesterday…
Ah, I’m grateful for the beautiful sunset last night. They way the last bit of sun shone through the clouds and reflected such brilliant pinks and oranges.
I’m grateful for the fun time I had with my kids yesterday…just having an ice cream and helping them with their homework.
I am grateful for all the survivors that have been pulled from the rubble in Haiti…even a week later!
I am grateful for the compassion and opening of so many hearts, and the awareness of the need for healing in that part of the world.
Estoy agradecida por haber encontrado esta manera de expresar lo que hay en el corazon a traves de la gratitud, ya que de esta forma el amor perdura dentro mio! es maravilloso! estoy agradecida con lan personas quienes participan en esto aportando un poco de su eneergia cada dia ayudando a generar mas amor y armonia en nuestro amado planeta! estoy agradecida porque amana compartio un dia mas de su vida con la mia, estoy agradecida por la madre tierra y toda la belleza que alberga, por los animales, por ocalito y as flores. Y hoy tambien siento mucha gratitud por el aire, porque me ayudo a sentir luz en mis celulas.
Bienvenidos a Gratitude Experiment Soraya, e muchas gracias. It’s great to have a voice in espaniol here! Please help spread the word to others in the latino community!
I am so grateful for the delecate ocean breeze! It is intoxicating!!!
Welcome to the Gratitude Experiment Dawn. I agree….ocean breezes are a source of much gratitude! We look forward to reading more of gratitudes in the days ahead.
“Difficult People”
As soon as we decide who and what we are, everything unlike it begins to show up in our lives. The key to shining the light on the blessings that come from these challenges is to pause, accept what is in the moment, relinquish control and practice the art of self inquiry. As we consciously choose to live our lives from a place of our inner truth, integrity, compassion and humility, we begin to recognize what feels good and what does not. So often we must discover who we are not and what we do not like, before we can truly know who we are and why we are here.
I believe that when we attract difficult people or challenging situations into our life, that we are being given an opportunity to heal a wounded part of ourselves. When my daughter was 5 she came home from school one day and said, “Mom, did you know that when you point a finger at someone you have 3 more pointing at you?” When I begin to get caught in the fight/flight mode and feel chaotic or resentful, I think of her and I laugh or smile. When we laugh or smile we shift our energy to a higher vibration.
Every time I start to judge a person or situation, I remember to get out of my head and ask the questions, “What does this person or situation have to teach me?” “What gift or blessing is hidden in the discomfort or chaos that I am feeling inside of me?” “What part am I playing in the game or dance?” It also is very helpful to remind yourself that you never know what the other person is going through. This gives us an opportunity to practice the art of compassion and performing conscious acts of kindness. I always tell my children and husband to send the people who hurt us lots of love. As we practice this technique we began to notice that we are attracting fewer difficult people into our lives. Every time we choose to reframe a belief, thought or emotion, we remind ourselves to open up our hearts and honor our truth. THe Blessing that comes from Repeating something over and over again is Resolution.
When I take time to practice the art of self inquiry and analytical meditation, I am able to gain a fresh new perspective and the blessings that I receive are unlimited. When I say Thank you and practice complete gratitude for all the lessons that show up in my life, I begin to experience more freedom, love, joy, peace and abundance.
So the gifts and blessings are unlimited. However in order to receive these priceless gifts, we must take full responsibility for our lives, our actions and our beliefs. This takes a lot of hard work, enduring patience, gentle strength, fierce courage and unconditional love. The hard work gives us the opportunity to live a fulfilling, meaningful and satisfying life.
for my wonderful 12 yr old daughter
I am grateful for the end of the storm when everything is washed clean, and for a warm home, my daughter and my friends.
I am grateful for the beautiful sunset right now outside my window. I’m grateful for my friend taking me to coffe today and listening and hearing me
I am grateful to feel happier today!