Taken for Granted

Have you ever felt taken for granted? Perhaps by a spouse, or your children, or by an employer? Doesn’t feel good does it?  You work hard, take care of whatever needs taking care of, think of what might become an issue in advance and take measures to avoid it; use your creativity to problem-solve and create new wonders…only to be met with a yawn of indifference.  Or worse, a complaint that it isn’t enough.  It sort of makes you feel like you are shrinking, doesn’t it?  It makes you want to just quit.

Now, let’s take the reverse of that. Let say your spouse, children or an employer are really phenomenal at appreciating you.  They notice everything you do on their behalf.  And they tell you how much they appreciate it….how much better their lives are because you are there.  They even notice what a wonderful person you are even when you don’t do anything…just being you.  Just picture it for a minute.  How does that make you feel?  There’s a smile on your face. You are positively beaming.  You are filled with love and radiating joy.  It actually makes you want to do more on their behalf, doesn’t it?

What a difference appreciation makes.  And how do we turn non-appreciators into appreciators?  By appreciating them. Try focusing on the wonderful things they do and who they are, and tell them how much you appreciate them.  Keep at it. They’ll get the idea eventually that this is how grown-ups are supposed to act.  (it’ll take a little longer with children, but if they watch grown-ups appreciating each other, they’ll eventually learn by modeling.)

Now, let’s extend this idea into a universal setting.  Think of the universe as a vibrating energy that receives your thoughts and feeling and reflects back to you in form and experience exactly what it receives.  Got the picture? 

Okay, let’s say you, like many people, are going through your day just trying to get by and do the things you need to do, and find some laughs along the way.  But you don’t really stop to appreciate anything.  Like the first situation, maybe you take for granted your home, or your family,  or your job, or your good health, or your education, or the beauty of nature, or the fact that you have two good legs to carry you through that day, or working lungs and a heart that keep you going.  You, like most, just assume it should be there and don’t see the sense in being grateful for it.   In fact, perhaps you have a lot of complaints about your life, and you focus on what’s not going right.

Remember, the universe is taking in everything you think and feel and reflecting that back to you.  It’s not energized by what you don’t appreciate.  What will begin to shrink and even disappear?  What will you keep getting more of?

Then, let’s say you’ve begun to see the value of appreciating everything in your life…the people, the family, the money you have (no matter how much it is) the job or, if you have a business, your customers, your good health. Let’s say you focus a lot on how much you appreciate these things and more.  Maybe you’ve even begun to write them down on a daily basis (part of the practice of proactive gratitude).

How is the universe responding to you now?  It’s vibrantly energized by your recognition of the good, the abundance, the wellbeing, the joy that has already been given to you.  And…it reflects more of that into your life. 

Of course, these are two extremes illustrated to make a point.  Most of us lie somewhere in between these two extremes, and the universe is contracting and expanding in our lives accordingly.

The choice of taking everything for granted, or appreciating everything is yours.  And the shift from one to the other is simple, yet deliberate.  It’s simple, but not easy. It takes a willingness and a commitment to practice daily. This is where support comes in.  There is support available to you here in practice by committing to writing and sharing your gratitudes daily in the comment sections or in our gratitude community on Facebook.  Support is also available individually with personal coaching (and good news!  I just recently lowered the rates for this and there is a coupon code available for further discount)  But if not here, get support for making this shift in your life from somewhere.  It will pay off in huge dividends!

Many blessings.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 42

We can also use gratitude to improve our relationships.  There’s the obvious use of gratitude in acknowledging our partner, children, family members or friends, and express to them verbally how much we appreciate them and whatever specific thing or quality we enjoy. Doing this never fails to encourage people to do more of whatever you appreciated. It also helps to lift their vibration and brings more love to the relationship.  There’s certainly no better way to get children to do what you want them to do, then by noticing and appreciating and heaping praise on them for those times they actually are behaving.

But, there’s also another use of gratitude that’s not so obvious…and admittedly, a little more difficult.  We all encounter people (family, friends and acquaintances) who are unpleasant or are just plain difficult.  It doesn’t come naturally to be grateful for them.  However, if we can take a moment and look a little deeper and notice that in this person’s heart is love. They’re just doing a good job of covering it up.  But, you play the detective…seek for that place of love within him or  her and then express gratitude for them (silently in your own heart.)  Focus on their true self. Focus on the love inside them…however buried it is…and give thanks for them.

You will be amazed at how quickly people will turn around and respond in kind. We are all connected and they will feel this love you’re sending their way on a deep, non-verbal level.

Try it today and tomorrow and let me know how it goes.

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I am grateful for Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his courage and commitment to peaceful protest. I am grateful for how he changed this country…and the world.

I am grateful for a family day and the opportunity to be together, relaxed and having fun.

I am grateful for the warmth of the sun shining today on this winter day.

I am grateful for seeing the new moon tonight and how it looked just like the smile of Cheshire Cat.