Monthly Archives: May 2010

The Fortune Cookie (A Little Fable)

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A young woman goes out to dinner one evening with her friend to a lovely little Chinese restaurant she just discovered.  This woman is feeling pretty good tonight. In fact, she’s been feeling pretty good about everything lately…even though she has yet to meet Mr. Right, and her finances are in turmoil and her job is not exactly a dream job.  Even with that, she’s been able to find the good in just about everything. Perhaps it’s because this woman has been practicing proactive gratitude daily.  She has also been feeling pretty good about herself lately.  She’s been working with a coach to help her learn to love and accept all parts of her…and its working.

So after a satisfying meal, the waitress brings the requisite plate of fortune cookies to the table.  Her friend opens hers and she gets the typical, “You will soon learn a valuable lesson.”  Now it’s the woman’s turn. She opens the cookie and reads the following fortune…

“From this moment on you will have good fortune in every area of your life…you have found the key”  “Wow”, she exclaim, “What a great fortune. But what does it mean by ‘I’ve found the key.’ What key? What key have I found that will unlock good fortune?” She looks and sees if there might be another fortune tucked in the cookie that might explain this.  Nothing.

She eats the cookie, pays the bill and is ready to dismiss the whole thing. As they are getting up to leave, the waitress walks up to them and tells them that there is one more fortune cookie that was meant for their table.  And she apologizes for forgetting it.  Thinking this whole thing very odd indeed, the friend motions for the woman to open it. “What are you waiting for?” She takes the cookie, thanks the waitress and proceeds to open it.  She begins to read the enclosed fortune which says…

…“The key is gratitude and self-acceptance.”  “Oh, I see,” the woman says, “But I’ve been doing that.  I’ve been doing both of those things, and still nothing’s working out for me.  I feel better about things, but I’m still in debt, have a crappy job and I’m alone.”  Her friend gently reminds her that the fortune clearly states “From this moment on.”  A light now goes off in the woman’s head.  “Ah, I think what the fortune is saying is that all the gratitude work and the self-worth work I’ve been doing has been sort of…cumulative, and now is the time for it to come to fruition.”  The friend agrees.  “Yeah, it’s like a time-delay thing.  Keep doing whatever it is you’re doing.” 

The woman is smiling broadly now.  Feeling confident and hopeful, she opens the front door, and on the other side, just about to enter, there is an attractive man walking in.  He holds the door for her.  Their eyes meet…

THE END….Ah, no…THE BEGINNING

This little fable hopefully illustrates the power of practicing proactive gratitude combined with self-love and acceptance.  Gratitude is an essential part of the key to manifesting our heart’s desires because it creates an energy that attracts to us synchronous events and fortuitous opportunities.  But if, deep down, we don’t feel worthy of a fulfilling, high-paying career, or joy, or love, we will miss the synchronous event.  We will be blind to the fortuitous opportunities.  We will repel the good fortune that is waiting for us.  The second part of the key is equally essential.  We must learn to love and accept all parts of us, forgive ourselves and our past, and see our self as God does…perfect, whole, complete and limitless now.

Practicing proactive gratitude is explained here on the site and supported by these blog posts and the opportunity to document daily that for which you are grateful in your journal or here in the comments section or in the gratitude community on Facebook.  But you must do the work.  Practicing self love, forgiveness and acceptance is a process that usually requires support from a coach or an appropriate personal growth program.  I offer both and there are links here in the right-hand column of this site to learn more about those.

In the meantime, search for the blessings in every area of your life…they are there; and know that you are loved, and you are worthy of a magnificent life!

Taken for Granted

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Have you ever felt taken for granted? Perhaps by a spouse, or your children, or by an employer? Doesn’t feel good does it?  You work hard, take care of whatever needs taking care of, think of what might become an issue in advance and take measures to avoid it; use your creativity to problem-solve and create new wonders…only to be met with a yawn of indifference.  Or worse, a complaint that it isn’t enough.  It sort of makes you feel like you are shrinking, doesn’t it?  It makes you want to just quit.

Now, let’s take the reverse of that. Let say your spouse, children or an employer are really phenomenal at appreciating you.  They notice everything you do on their behalf.  And they tell you how much they appreciate it….how much better their lives are because you are there.  They even notice what a wonderful person you are even when you don’t do anything…just being you.  Just picture it for a minute.  How does that make you feel?  There’s a smile on your face. You are positively beaming.  You are filled with love and radiating joy.  It actually makes you want to do more on their behalf, doesn’t it?

What a difference appreciation makes.  And how do we turn non-appreciators into appreciators?  By appreciating them. Try focusing on the wonderful things they do and who they are, and tell them how much you appreciate them.  Keep at it. They’ll get the idea eventually that this is how grown-ups are supposed to act.  (it’ll take a little longer with children, but if they watch grown-ups appreciating each other, they’ll eventually learn by modeling.)

Now, let’s extend this idea into a universal setting.  Think of the universe as a vibrating energy that receives your thoughts and feeling and reflects back to you in form and experience exactly what it receives.  Got the picture? 

Okay, let’s say you, like many people, are going through your day just trying to get by and do the things you need to do, and find some laughs along the way.  But you don’t really stop to appreciate anything.  Like the first situation, maybe you take for granted your home, or your family,  or your job, or your good health, or your education, or the beauty of nature, or the fact that you have two good legs to carry you through that day, or working lungs and a heart that keep you going.  You, like most, just assume it should be there and don’t see the sense in being grateful for it.   In fact, perhaps you have a lot of complaints about your life, and you focus on what’s not going right.

Remember, the universe is taking in everything you think and feel and reflecting that back to you.  It’s not energized by what you don’t appreciate.  What will begin to shrink and even disappear?  What will you keep getting more of?

Then, let’s say you’ve begun to see the value of appreciating everything in your life…the people, the family, the money you have (no matter how much it is) the job or, if you have a business, your customers, your good health. Let’s say you focus a lot on how much you appreciate these things and more.  Maybe you’ve even begun to write them down on a daily basis (part of the practice of proactive gratitude).

How is the universe responding to you now?  It’s vibrantly energized by your recognition of the good, the abundance, the wellbeing, the joy that has already been given to you.  And…it reflects more of that into your life. 

Of course, these are two extremes illustrated to make a point.  Most of us lie somewhere in between these two extremes, and the universe is contracting and expanding in our lives accordingly.

The choice of taking everything for granted, or appreciating everything is yours.  And the shift from one to the other is simple, yet deliberate.  It’s simple, but not easy. It takes a willingness and a commitment to practice daily. This is where support comes in.  There is support available to you here in practice by committing to writing and sharing your gratitudes daily in the comment sections or in our gratitude community on Facebook.  Support is also available individually with personal coaching (and good news!  I just recently lowered the rates for this and there is a coupon code available for further discount)  But if not here, get support for making this shift in your life from somewhere.  It will pay off in huge dividends!

Many blessings.

Positive Thinking is Not Necessarily Natural

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Positive thinking. You know you need to think positively and be positive for so many reasons: to stay healthy…physically and mentally, to be a good friend and attract more friends, to be a desired employee, and in order to create what you want in your life.  But for most of us, positive thinking doesn’t come naturally.

Human beings seem to like to focus on what’s not working, as opposed to what is working.  We tend to dwell on the errors and the mistakes we, and others make.  We also seem to pay more attention to what is lacking, what’s missing from our lives and from the world.  This might be an evolutionary thing.  Our Cro-Magnon ancestors had to be aware of constant danger and changes in their environment and make adjustments accordingly in order to survive.   However, now that we’ve got the survival thing down, it’s time to let the focusing-on-what’s-wrong thing go.

This isn’t to say that we should turn away from everything that isn’t working right and simply repeat positive affirmations pretending it’s not there. Not at all.  Of course we need to look at the things that need to be addressed in all areas of our lives…and then address them.  The funny thing is that those who have a positive, grateful frame of mind seem to do this more easily…and with less drama.   Those who are always focused on what’s wrong do a lot of complaining, but rarely take any action to change their circumstances. 

The good news is that we have choice about what to dwell upon. And, as the Law of Attraction states: the more we focus on the negative, the more we are drawing that into our lives.  So, it behooves us to begin to pay attention to the direction our thoughts are drifting.  And, as you might guess, practicing proactive gratitude helps  to do just that.

When we are grateful for the good in our world, our vibration is lifted and our consciousness is naturally infused with positive thinking.  It’s a simple practice that reaps gigantic rewards.  Again, the steps are:

1. Like a detective, be on the lookout for everything that goes well throughout your day, as well as the beauty that’s around you.

2. Celebrate those things….even the littlest of things.  Allow the joy of those positive experience to flood your mind and body. Give a woo-hoo. Sing and dance. Allow yourself to feel blessed.

3. Document the good stuff daily. Write down at least 5 things for which you are grateful in your journal, or here in the comment section on the blog.

Like all change, it’s easier to do when you have support. So if you’d like to be supported in your efforts make this change, consider becoming a member of our Intentional Creation Club.  Click the link in the right hand column for more information about that.  Or join our active gratitude community on Facebook at The Gratitude Experiment on Facebook.  

Many blessings!

New Format

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I’ve decided to go with a new format for my blogs. Instead of counting the days of the gratitude experiment (i.e., Gratitude Experiment: Day 70, etc.) from now on, I’ll be posting new blog entries by their title.  Hopefully this will help people who are searching for information on the particular topic. Of course all posts will continue the exploration of the various aspects of gratitude…and how it transforms our lives.

Also, for anyone who may not know, I also have a Facebook Fan Page on the subject of gratitude. It’s also called The Gratitude Experiment.   Sometimes there are different topics discussed there, than are here.  Also, there is a lot more interaction and great ideas offered from other people.  Check us out at: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/The-Gratitude-Experiment/308476274124. 

I hope this change doesn’t upset any one’s apple cart. Change is good.  In fact, I’m grateful for change and the opportunity to explore what works and what doesn’t and make adjustments as I move forward!

Many blessings to you!

Breaking the Complaining Habit

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Complaining. It can feel pretty good to do in the moment. Ohhh, it feels so good to be right, even if it’s about something that’s wrong.  Unfortunately, it comes at a high price. It can cost you your peace of mind, your health, your friendships and your ability to create something better in your life. How can you see what’s possible if you’re always focusing on what’s in the way of your being happy? In addition, complaining…that’s the act of bitching and moaning about a condition or situation without doing anything to change it…puts you in the position of being a victim.  All of this is a pretty high price to pay for momentary satisfaction!

So, have you taken any steps to eliminate complaining from your life?  Have you tried wearing that purple, rubber bracelet from A Complaint Free World?  You know the one…every time you catch yourself complaining you’re supposed to switch it to the other wrist? That can be helpful for some. For others, it can be a good way to beat yourself up too. Maybe you’ve tried setting a personal intention and found a way to keep yourself accountable. Perhaps you’ve read book on it.  I’ve even seen a support group on Facebook to help eliminate complaining. As you can see, there are several ways to help break the negative spiral of complaining…some more effective than others.  I’d love to know what you’ve tried and what’s worked for you.

Perhaps the easiest way I know to break the complaining habit is through the process of proactive gratitude. Just the process of actively searching for things to be grateful for on a daily basis alone, shifts your perspective from one of seeing what’s wrong in the world to seeing what’s right in the world. So complaints no longer rush automatically to your mind and out of your mouth.  After practicing proactive gratitude for a time you’ll notice you are simply complaining much less (if you don’t your family or significant other will notice it.)

However, there will still be times something just gets your gall and it’s difficult to resist the urge.  Now, just to clarify, I’m not talking about those instances where there is something you can, in fact, change and you feel moved to speak your mind. That’s different.  I’m talking about those things you have no intention of trying to change; you just feel the need to complain about it.  So, here are 3 simple steps you can take to not only turn that complaint into gratitude, but completely shift your energy…

1.     Consider the condition, person or situation and just bite your lip for a moment (metaphorically, of course.)

2.    Take several deep breaths.

3.   Broaden your perspective for a moment and see if you can find something in the bigger picture that you can be grateful for…or an opportunity that wasn’t there before.

For example, I’m stuck in bad traffic…it’s not moving…and I’m late to an appointment. I might be tempted to curse and complain…loudly!  Okay, before I speak, I take a moment and breathe deeply a few times. Now I look at what opportunities might be inherent in this situation.  I have an opportunity of finishing that CD or radio program I’ve been listening too.  I have the opportunity of blessing everyone on the road…sending them loving thoughts.  I’m so grateful I have a cell phone and can call my appointment to let them know I’ll be late (I didn’t have that 10 years ago!) I can focus on the trees and bushes along the highway and really enjoy them. I’m so grateful for such beauty everywhere.

You see how you can come out of that situation a joyful, loving, positive person totally energized for your appointment?  Yeah.  This is the Gratitude Experiment. As always, let me know how this goes for you.

Gratitude and Love

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Today I am grateful for love.  I’m not talking about the romantic kind of love (although that’s good too!)  I’m really referring to love as a power…the power of love.  Huey Lewis was getting somewhat close when he sang about the power of love (btw: here’s a fun 80’s video long-version of the song with Back to the Future’s Christopher Lloyd http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFaXTcR4dtE) .  Fun, but not quite it.

I’m talking more about the ability of love to uplift, transform and heal.  Yes, the power of love can uplift, transform and heal anyone.   I am grateful for all the times a friend’s words, or hug has uplifted me.  I am grateful for the transformation my life has undergone because I’ve opened up to allow love to fill my heart and overflow…spilling out into my world.  I’m grateful for the relationships that have healed because of the power of love.   I am grateful for loved ones who have healed physical illness through the power of love.  

You may have experienced what I’m talking about. If so, I hope you’ll share your story with us here.

We can also think of love as an energy…the energy on which the universe runs…and was created.  In fact, an acronym I use for LIFE is the Love Intelligence Fundamental Energy which creates, guides and governs the universe.  Life itself begins with love.  And love infuses all of creation.  When we open up to see this love that permeates all of creation, we begin to see differently and we begin to live in a different world.

Louise Hay talked about love as an avenue or vehicle, and once said, “The totality of possibilities are yours to have, and love is the vehicle on which to receive it.”  That idea allows us to see that when we are aligned with the vibration of love, we are aligned with the energy to create our dreams.   If, in fact, love is the energy with which all things are created, then it makes sense that when we are in that energy we become creative, powerful beings.